Working Together As Parents

I have to say our little weekend was a little crazy. I came down with a very bad cold Saturday night, not to mention the following day, Sunday was Ryan's Christening. I was very, very upset that I wouldn't be able to enjoy the beautiful ceremony given by my pastor for our son, because I'm coughing like crazy and I sound as if I've been smoking since birth. I was praying and hoping that I will be better the next morning, so I played baby and my mother took care of me and my sister took care of my son. My gosh I love them so much, and appreciate them for helping me out so much. As I laid there in my bed, I was feeling so awful and congested. It was driving me crazy, apart of me was thinking about my son, and what he was doing, if my sister was doing a good job of taking care of him. While the other side of me was so tired and beat I just wanted to sleep.

 

It didn't help either that I've been stressing myself like crazy with my ex and his foolishness, so much has happened and I can only pray that things will get better for my son and I. It's still a struggle between us, I think it mostly has to deal with us still trying to figure each other out. I have no hate towards my ex and I would be lying if I told you that I no longer love him. Truth be told is that it's hard to move on when you have a little boy that is an identical image of his father, and you love him so much. My son looks exactly like his father, and every morning I wake up I cannot hate him, I don't have an ounce of hate at all for my son. I love him more and more with each passing second, even when I'm not with him. He's my moon and sun, my night and day, my saving grace, but most of all he's my son, and I'm very proud to be his mommie.

After getting sick, I started to realize that I must stop worrying about the life that my ex is living, what he's doing, who he's dating and the life he choose to live. It's not fair to our son that mommie is always upset and daddy is acting foolish. The best thing I can offer my son is stability and comfort. Knowing that my son's home will always be with mommie, and that he only visits daddy. That's the life we choose for our son, and regardless if my ex likes it or not, it's the truth. Our son needs consistency in his life, even at the tender age of one, Ryan has to understand what days he will see his daddy and what nights will be spent over at his dad's house.

I continue to pray about this and ask God of guidance on to choosing the right decision for our family. My ex, son and I, no matter what happens, or who he chooses to date and be with, our family was there before any other girl and she's going have to realize that our son will always be the number one, main person in his life no matter what. If my ex chooses to let another person interferes with his relationship with our son, that's when I'll step in and set everything back on track. I will not let my son feel or see the downfall of another failed relationship, it's not fair to him, and he did not ask to be born into this mess that his father and I created for ourselves. This is only the beginning to an end, and I wish nothing but the best for our family. Through the Grace of God, I pray that we will find a common ground and raise our son to be a wonderful man one day.